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monetizeyourcat:

boysinbarrettes:

monetizeyourcat:

Just found out there are two Bones in my shin, and two shins on my body. That’s four Bones. Fuck this shit

dude thats not even the worst of it. go look up what your ribs are made of

OK, i will, but I’m warning you if it’s bones I’m gonna be so pissed off

spidermxn:

miley cyrus is more upset over losing her dogs than she was over losing liam and that is how you fucking do it

jeanmarcoing:

things to call your best friend:

  • asshole
  • looser
  • fucking nerd
  • piece of shit
  • fuckin egg
  • wife/waifu/husbando
  • mayonnaise egg
  • bitch salad
  • meme loving fuck

mollyiscoolokay:

The year is 3000, my great great great grand daughter isn’t fine at all and freddos are £4 each

beyonceish:

today i saw a scene couple in the hallway at school and the girl literally stopped kissing him so she could scratch his face and meow into his ear and he barked back i do not pay taxes for this shit 

mishakoalins:

A default ring tone is heard. 100 moms look at their purses.

t0tally-pers0nal:

Let’s “cuddle” and when I say cuddle I mean aggressively makeout and grab me everywhere

vivianvivisection:

jonesdavid813:

h0llo:

Putting on makeup is such a spiritual experience I watch myself go from a 3 to a 9 right in front of my mirror I love it

no, if you are putting on makeup, I don’t care who you are or what you look like, you go from about a 10 to 1

keep talking shit you gonna go from a basic ass 2 to a 6-feet-under

tinytmas:

tommarvalo:

marvel’s got movies planned out for the next fourteen years god damn i don’t even know what i’m going to be doing in an hour…

tumblr. you’ll be on tumblr.

gaaraofsburbia:

james-p-sullivan:

HEY TUMBLR

DID YOU GUYS KNOW JENGA MADE A NEW VERSION OF THEIR GAME, BUT INSTEAD OF STRAIGHT BORING WOODEN ONES, ITS TETRIS PIECES

THATS RIGHT, ITS MOTHER FUCKING TETRIS JENGA

image

THE TWO OF THE MOST STRESSFUL GOD DAMNED GAMES WE PLAYED AS CHILDREN ROLLED INTO ONE

brilliances:

What if everything was just a bad dream and you wake up to a perfect life

restoring-thecollidedsky:

ennvui:

moldykins:

please don’t tease carnivorous plants like this!!!! it takes enormous amounts of their energy to dissolve the insects that they need to survive and it takes days to process them!!! when you do this you’re wasting all of their energy and pretty much starving them!!!!!

it’s a fuckin’ plant jesus christ

it doesn’t fucking matter if it’s a plant, you fucking asshat. 

restoring-thecollidedsky:

ennvui:

moldykins:

please don’t tease carnivorous plants like this!!!! it takes enormous amounts of their energy to dissolve the insects that they need to survive and it takes days to process them!!! when you do this you’re wasting all of their energy and pretty much starving them!!!!!

it’s a fuckin’ plant jesus christ

it doesn’t fucking matter if it’s a plant, you fucking asshat. 

heyitsemele:

pastelmorgue:

eradicategirlhate:

you ever thought that maybe the reason girls say they’re fine when they’re not, or they’re not mad when they are, is because the second they show any semblance of emotion they’re written off as hysterical bitches that are probably on their period?

THE FUCKING DA VINCI CODE HAS BEEN CRACKED

Reblogging again, because this will never be irrelevant. 

punkukulele:

half of me is like ‘lets get a billion tattoos and wear killer heels and sharp eyeliner and red lipstick and leather jackets and dye my hair super bright colors’

and the other half is ‘lets wear pastel dresses and cardigans and ballet flats and play ukulele and wear cute jewelry’

and i think that pretty much sums up my entire existence